No condemnation
Im sure its not just me, but at times like this when everyone is posting ' helpful' articles online about how to do life in a pandemic, its easy to get awfully depressed about how little of the helpful stuff you are actually managing to do.
If you have children you will be bombarded with people telling you you need to keep the routine, get them up in the morning, encourage them to do their schoolwork at the kitchen table. ( I haven't actually read anything saying they should be in their school uniforms but it wouldn't surprise me if someone has advised that!) We need to limit their screen time, get them outside in the fresh air and make sure they go to bed at the same time as on a normal school day. Oh, and of course not to forget, we have to reassure them about the virus and explain to them that as long as they wash their hands a hundred times a day they will probably be OK.
Then for us as adults we are supposed to be keeping to a routine, eating healthily, spending more quality time with our kids and significant others, definitely spending more time with God, limiting our screen time, getting plenty of exercise, looking after our mental health ....... and on and on and on goes the helpful and well meaning advice.
And if we aren't doing any or much of the above....? Guilt and condemnation?
Well let me just tell you whats been happening in our house over the past couple of weeks.
We have three teenage sons. All attempts to get them out of bed before lunchtime have failed miserably. So guess what? They get up at lunchtime. We have moved televisions into two of their bedrooms ( this was always strictly forbidden before the pandemic) so they can play online games with their friends and not be fighting over screens. They have snacked on rubbish food for lunch ( breakfast ) and we have only managed to get together as a family for a proper cooked meal at 6pm. We have spent large amounts of time in our pyjamas. More often than not nobody has ventured out to do any exercise. I have done a few projects in the house on days when Ive felt like it. On other days Ive stayed in bed and watched trashy daytime TV all day. Josh decided he wanted to decorate his bedroom, so he has been busy with that. Ben has had some schoolwork sent through to him most days and has been quite good at organising himself to do it whenever he has felt like it - sitting at a desk and applying himself properly. Sam, who has sometimes not got out of bed till 2pm, has spent much of his awake time playing his guitar. He hasn't been in bed before 1am for the last fortnight.
None of this is normal. But its what is working for us. Surprisingly ( to me) we are all managing to get along quite well. We aren't spending much time in each others company really. Keith is working from home and is keeping a more 'usual' timetable, getting up by 9am and making phonecalls and doing computery stuff till mid afternoon. He is the only one of us who is also going to bed at a sensible time. I have always been a night owl and I'm an introvert. So I am really enjoying staying up later than I would when working, and sleeping until whenever I wake without setting an alarm and having to do the school run. I am choosing to spend time apart from everyone for the sake of my own sanity - not that the boys want to spend time with their ancient mother anyway 😀 Their conversation mostly consists of occasional grunts and liberal use of the word ' fine'. I have possibly spent fractionally more time with God but I certainly haven't managed to radically reorder my spiritual life as some of the commentators and facebook posters are urging me to. I don't think God minds about that too much. And I am certainly not going to cave in to condemnation and guilt about how I'm choosing to ' do' lockdown right now.
I hope you aren't either.
It's hard enough to be self isolating and working from home or having small children in your face 24/7 without feeling that you ought to be learning a new language or teaching your kid to play the flute or making all your meals from scratch every day. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe, sane and, if possible, content: and if that looks like eating cake in your pyjamas whilst watching cat videos on Youtube...... well, what's so bad about that? 😀
If you have children you will be bombarded with people telling you you need to keep the routine, get them up in the morning, encourage them to do their schoolwork at the kitchen table. ( I haven't actually read anything saying they should be in their school uniforms but it wouldn't surprise me if someone has advised that!) We need to limit their screen time, get them outside in the fresh air and make sure they go to bed at the same time as on a normal school day. Oh, and of course not to forget, we have to reassure them about the virus and explain to them that as long as they wash their hands a hundred times a day they will probably be OK.
Then for us as adults we are supposed to be keeping to a routine, eating healthily, spending more quality time with our kids and significant others, definitely spending more time with God, limiting our screen time, getting plenty of exercise, looking after our mental health ....... and on and on and on goes the helpful and well meaning advice.
And if we aren't doing any or much of the above....? Guilt and condemnation?
Well let me just tell you whats been happening in our house over the past couple of weeks.
We have three teenage sons. All attempts to get them out of bed before lunchtime have failed miserably. So guess what? They get up at lunchtime. We have moved televisions into two of their bedrooms ( this was always strictly forbidden before the pandemic) so they can play online games with their friends and not be fighting over screens. They have snacked on rubbish food for lunch ( breakfast ) and we have only managed to get together as a family for a proper cooked meal at 6pm. We have spent large amounts of time in our pyjamas. More often than not nobody has ventured out to do any exercise. I have done a few projects in the house on days when Ive felt like it. On other days Ive stayed in bed and watched trashy daytime TV all day. Josh decided he wanted to decorate his bedroom, so he has been busy with that. Ben has had some schoolwork sent through to him most days and has been quite good at organising himself to do it whenever he has felt like it - sitting at a desk and applying himself properly. Sam, who has sometimes not got out of bed till 2pm, has spent much of his awake time playing his guitar. He hasn't been in bed before 1am for the last fortnight.
None of this is normal. But its what is working for us. Surprisingly ( to me) we are all managing to get along quite well. We aren't spending much time in each others company really. Keith is working from home and is keeping a more 'usual' timetable, getting up by 9am and making phonecalls and doing computery stuff till mid afternoon. He is the only one of us who is also going to bed at a sensible time. I have always been a night owl and I'm an introvert. So I am really enjoying staying up later than I would when working, and sleeping until whenever I wake without setting an alarm and having to do the school run. I am choosing to spend time apart from everyone for the sake of my own sanity - not that the boys want to spend time with their ancient mother anyway 😀 Their conversation mostly consists of occasional grunts and liberal use of the word ' fine'. I have possibly spent fractionally more time with God but I certainly haven't managed to radically reorder my spiritual life as some of the commentators and facebook posters are urging me to. I don't think God minds about that too much. And I am certainly not going to cave in to condemnation and guilt about how I'm choosing to ' do' lockdown right now.
I hope you aren't either.
It's hard enough to be self isolating and working from home or having small children in your face 24/7 without feeling that you ought to be learning a new language or teaching your kid to play the flute or making all your meals from scratch every day. Do whatever you need to do to stay safe, sane and, if possible, content: and if that looks like eating cake in your pyjamas whilst watching cat videos on Youtube...... well, what's so bad about that? 😀
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